Losing Your Direction When Circumstances Change

Linh was energetic, positive, cheerful and strong. Everything changed when her mother died unexpectedly. Once outgoing and free-spirited, she withdrew and felt no one understood her. Not wanting to burden others with grief, she tried to appear normal. People assumed she was strong and not greatly affected, but inside grief had shattered her. Seven years later, at 33, she suddenly noticed her friends were married with children while she was still throwing herself into earning money and travelling, without thinking about starting a family. 

Linh told her coach that to get through those seven years she had decided to live for her mother and become a daughter her mother could be proud of. To her, this meant succeeding at work, travelling and buying things she liked. Then she wondered whether that was really her mother’s wish. What if, like other mothers, hers had hoped she would marry and have children? She anxiously wanted to find a partner and have a child soon, but believed she was already rather old and had limited choices because people kept telling her so. 

Her coach accompanied Linh in discovering what she genuinely wanted for her own life rather than what ‘her mother wanted’—something she could no longer know. Linh realised she needed to take charge of her life and live for what she truly needed, rather than others’ expectations. She found a genuine direction for her future.